Funny Quotes About Men


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If you're in need of a good laugh or just some witty words about the opposite sex, look no further than this collection of 100 funny life quotes about men.From clever one-liners to tongue-in-cheek observations, these quotes capture the quirks and idiosyncrasies of men in all their glory.Whether you're a man looking for a good-natured chuckle or a woman seeking some relatable humor, these.


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123. Men are like…..Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. 124. Men are like…..Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. 125. Men are like…..Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.


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Here are some hilarious quotes about men that will tickle your funny bone. "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." ~ Sacha Guitry. "A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing." ~ Duane Dewel. "Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.


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It's not the men in my life that count; it's the life in my men. Mae West. Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. Rita Rudner. When women go wrong, men go right after them. Mae West.


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3. "I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food." 4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." 5.


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Oscar Wilde. You will earn the respect of all men if you begin by earning the respect of yourself. Musonius Rufus. When you find peace within yourself, you also find peace without. Naga Devi. The crucial thing is to find a truth which is truth for me, to find the idea for which I am willing to live and die.


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1. The ideal man goes home early, doesn't flirt, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't gamble and doesn't exist. 380. 0. Men are like chocolate bars…they're sweet and smooth but head straight for your hips. 449. 1. Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped. 423.


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11 "Women need makeup to be fake; men are fake without extra help.". 12 "When a man tells you, he is going to meet his friend Jack or Johnny, be sure he is referring to a human being and not his liquor.". 13 "Men can enjoy a lot of jokes, but when it comes to size and height, they seem to develop a severe sensitivity.".


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Funny Quotes. 1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg. 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This.


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What listeners say about 500 Funny Quotes for Men Average customer ratings. Overall. 4.5 out of 5 stars 4.7 out of 5.0 5 Stars 13 4 Stars 1 3 Stars 0 2 Stars 0 1 Stars 1 Performance. 4.5 out of 5 stars 4.7 out of 5.0 5 Stars 13 4 Stars 0 3 Stars 0.


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8. "By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day." —Robert Frost. 9. "The road to success is always under construction." —Lily.


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Charles Shulz. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.". - George Carlin. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama.


Funny Quotes About Men

Mae West. "Men are all alike -- except the one you've met who's different." "Men are easy to get but hard to keep." "It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men." "Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you." "Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from."


Funny Quotes About Men The 121 Funniest Quotes Of All Time Reader S Digest

Specifically: let's hear what it's like being/loving/living with/working with men, from some of the funniest folk to ever impart their wisdom on the subject. From great wits (Mae West, Groucho.


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Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.". - Michael Scott, The Office. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.". - Charles M. Schulz. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.". - Will Ferrell.


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Funny Quotes for Men and Women. 91. "My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look." - Crimes and Misdemeanors. 92. "Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That's for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve." - David Letterman